Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Climb

I realized something this last week.  It's been a long time coming.  Like about a year.  And it took a silly song to do it.  I came across my training schedule from last year.  I had kept notes on how I had felt during the run and whether I had made it a negative split or not, which was one of my initial goals for last year.  Almost every run was good.  I wasn't dealing with any injuries.  My body felt strong and I was getting faster.  I was learning to start out slow and then push my body even at the end of the run when I was getting tired.  Every run leading up to the Salt Lake Marathon was great.  Then the marathon came.  It was disappointing to say the least.  Four weeks later I ran the Ogden Marathon and had an even worse experience.  It really messed with my  mind.  More than I'd like to admit.  I cried for days afterwards.  I cried for weeks afterwards just thinking about it.  My confidence was shot.  Running wasn't as fun anymore.  I felt like I had something to prove, if only to myself.  I started leaving the watch at home.  I just didn't want to know where I was.  I pushed myself when I shouldn't have.  And injury is what happens when you do that.  So, back to the point of this whole story.... Last week my daughter introduced me to one of her new favorite songs.  She's a preteen and I'm often forced into listening to her music.  I hate to admit that I like some of her stuff and it's been added to my playlists.  But this one caught my attention for the lyrics.  Since I have no pride I'll just admit that it's a Miley Cyrus song called The Climb.  
Here are the lyrics:
I can almost see it, that dream I'm dreaming.
But there's a voice inside my head says you'll never reach it.
Every step I'm taking, every move I make
Feels lost with no direction, my faith is shaken.
But I gotta keep trying, gotta keep my head held high.

There's always gonna be another mountain,
I'm Always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
'Aint about how fast I get there
'Aint about what's waiting on the other side.
It's the climb.

The struggles I'm facing, the chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down but no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it, but these are the moments 
That I'm gonna remember most, just gotta keep going
And I, I gotta be strong, just keep pushing on.
Why do I get so fixated on that marathon day?  It's really all the training leading up to it that is where I learn and grow.  It's the climb.  There will always be other big days, other goals to reach, but it's in the getting there that makes all the difference.  As I looked at that training schedule the happiness and success came flooding back.  That was a great time in my running life.  And I let one day (o.k. maybe two) ruin it.  For far too long.  I'm gonna try and remember this as I continue to train for the next mountain in my life.


Tall Girl Running said...

Great post! I've tried to adopt the attitude that the actual race is the REWARD that comes after all the training. Regardless of the outcome, getting to that start line (and hopefully, the finish) is simply the icing on the cake. Running a marathon may be about the 26.2 miles, but it's the four or five months of dedicated training leading up to it that makes somebody a marathoner.

By the way, my 15-year old would be mortified, but I also enjoy a lot of the same music she listens to. We may be getting up there in age, but we're still young at heart, right? :-)

Tall Girl Running said...

By the way..

I'm starting to bat around the idea in my head of running the Top of Utah marathon again in September. I see that's one of your goals for this year, so I might need your help in convincing and/or motivating me!

Michael said...

Bravo Jen... excellent post! You're getting wiser with each passing mile. A friend of mine, about 32 years old, is experiencing some cardiac difficulties -irregularities- when she runs. She also had to pull out of the same race that brought me down 4 weeks ago. She reminded me in an email that it takes more courage to make it to the start line than the finish line. So true! Don't tell my son, but I'm going to download The Climb... see ya... off to itunes. :) M

Mel said...

You inspire me! Thanks for this post.

The Hoyt's said...

What a great attitude Jen!! Thanks for the post!! I saw the play Witches on broadway a couple weeks ago and when I heard the song defying gravity I immediatly thought of you..

sunshine said...

Great view, Jen.

I saw a great running shoe ad recently (can't remember which one) and the tagline was something like, "Because real runners know it's not about the 26.2"

Here's to tackling the next mountain, head on!