When will I learn to pace myself?

I have a problem.  O.k., so I have many problems.  One of which is that I just can't seem to pace myself.  If I feel good early on in a run, I have a hard time not going for it and just letting go and running fast even though I know that it may cost me later on.  Which begs the question, would I just end up being tired at the end of a run anyway or will the energy I conserve at the beginning really pay off in the end?  I may never know, because I CAN'T seem to not go fast when I'm feeling like it!  Today I woke up excited to run!  I knew I'd be going 18 miles and I was actually excited to do it.  I dreamed about it all last night.  And sure enough, about a mile in, I felt great and just wanted to GO!  So I did.  It was great being awake and outside in the predawn air.  There's something about being present at the beginning of the day.  It's invigorating!  I finished earlier than I thought and so I ran a little over a mile until I was supposed to meet Jodi.  But then I stopped and when we started we did a pretty fast first mile and even though the next four miles were o.k., the next 4 miles were kind of rough.  I had to stop and walk a couple of times to catch my breath.  The laps with Jodi were so nice though because they went by so fast.  The weather was warmer at the beginning than the end and we had some icy wind going on.  And I'm sure all my talking made it seem harder too.  I'm not used to talking on my runs and maybe that means I'm going too fast because it's pretty difficult for me to talk and run at the same time.  After I dropped Jodi off (she did 9 miles again this week!) I only had 3 left to go.  But after I got going again (Janz refilled my water) I felt pretty good and ended up going a mile extra, which put me at 19 miles today!  I have felt great today too and I'm pretty excited about that.  I also took another ice bath after I stretched and I really think it helps.  Although I think I used too much ice today and my toes were seriously frozen.  I read where someone wears neoprene booties in their ice baths and I definitely need to think of something.  I don't know how anyone could deal with frostbitten toesies!  Now if I can just deal with the pacing issue, I'll be feeling more confident.  So much for negative splits today!  Guess I have the S.L. Marathon to practice again in 2 weeks.

Used the gel again today with water.  Went well.  Used 2 1/2 gels in all.

10:15 pace overall.