It's been a week...or two

I decided after the Bear Lake 1/2 that I would take a complete week off and just rest this bod of mine.  I'd been working it pretty good and it was time.  It turned out to be a great week, one where I didn't have to worry about fitting it in or about the heat which decided to finally arrive.  But by Saturday, I was missing it and was thinking about going on a run.  However, Justin was at Youth Conference and Janz was at a service project that went until about noon and there was no way that I was going out in that heat after noon.  So it would have to be Monday then.

I woke up bright and early Monday morning ready to hit the road and discovered that I couldn't move my neck without being in terrible pain.  I had really kinked it this time.  I couldn't stand or sit in any position without it hurting so badly.  I found a position on the bed that I could be in and pretty much stayed there the whole day.  I looked at my running shoes sitting on the floor by my carefully laid out clothes and wanted to cry.  This happened about 8 years ago and it took about 2 weeks to get better.  I got myself into the chiropractor and even though I was pretty nervous about seeing him, I think it helped.  I tried to run once this week.  I only made it three miles with a little bareback riding in the middle of that.  (That's my new inner thigh workout!)  The movement just hurt my head too bad and it was worse for the rest of the day.  I iced, heated, stretched and repeated several times during the week and by the last appointment on Friday I had almost full range of motion.  So I thought I'd try a long run today.

I wish I would have gotten up earlier.  The heat has been in full force for two weeks now and I've missed out on acclimating myself.  I really am a fair weathered runner and hate the bitter cold and the blistering heat.  I like spring and fall.  I need to move or adjust because it just isn't like that here.  I didn't have time to eat anything.  So I just grabbed my stuff and headed out.  It was a hard one today.  My ipod died about 2 miles in and was on a really good song too.  I am so sick of my 5 mile loop, so I decided to just wing it and go wherever I felt like it.  With that new snazzy watch it's easier to decide how far to go before turning and heading for home.  I ended up in the next town over on some very hard hills.  I guess it's not called "snob hill" for nothing.  I went down a nice dirt trail where the grass on the sides was as tall as I am.  I had a mama bird dive bombing me for a while.  She must have thought that this nice little runner was after her young.  I'm pretty luck not to have poop on me, because I think that I was definitely her target.  There were tons of dragonflies zooming in and out of the grass and the pond out there that I have heard frogs in was pretty grown over.  Out west seemed much hotter than in town probably because there was NO shade.  I crossed the highway and ran into a gas station to use the potty and splash water on my face.  From there until home was pretty much a struggle.  It was just so hot and it was all uphill.  I looked for the shady streets.  I ran through the sprinklers.  I passed a lemonade stand and wished I had 50 cents on me.  I was pretty beat.  I really couldn't wait to get home and in a cool shower.  I rounded the corner, saw home and finished the eleven miles.  Janz was outside washing the cars and at my request, he hosed me down.  Felt so good.  Even though it was tough, it felt good to be out there.  I think it just takes something like a little injury or sickness and you come back that much more grateful for the ability to just move those two legs forward.  To quote a friend, "It's a good day to be alive."

Bear Lake Half Marathon

Last week didn't end up being very productive.  After I ran with Jody on Tuesday, I didn't run again until Thursday with Janzen for 2 miles and then another mile with Logan in the stroller.  (He was pretty jealous that Janz went running with me and begged to go when we got home!) I just didn't feel like running.  I was having a rough middle of the week and was so tired and just didn't want to do anything.  I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.  I was just blah.  I kept thinking it was o.k. since I had the half coming up on Saturday, but then I'd get worried about being able to do it.  It was kind of a last minute decision to run the Bear Lake half marathon.  I had to call them since online registration was closed and it looked like they were full.  But they had some cancellations and were able to fit me in.  I didn't start getting the jitters until the night before, so that was good.  

Janz and I got up at 4:30 and were out the door by 5:00 a.m.  I ate a bagel for the first time before a race that Holly brought me over to carb load on.  It was good!  I decided to wear my camel bak during the race since I wear it on training runs and wouldn't have to waste time at the drinking stations.  This is the first race that Janzen has taken me to and I was glad for his company.  It was calming.  The drive up was beautiful.  Logan canyon was gorgeous.  Because of the cooler temperatures and the all the rain, everything was green and there was still snow once we got higher up.  It was fun reminiscing as we drove up.  We spent a lot of our dating time and early married years in that canyon fishing.  He drove me up there early one morning and made me breakfast in the canyon and then took me to Bear Lake for the first time.  The drive there and back was as much fun as the run itself.  I was a little worried about the temperatures.  It was 32 degrees right before we descended into the Bear Lake Valley, but quickly warmed up to about 53 as we got into the sun.

I picked up my packet, hit the bathrooms, and then we waited in the car for about a half hour since they changed the bus times.  I pinned my number on my shirt.  I kissed Janzen goodbye and got on the bus.  Then I waited for about another half hour for them to go.  While waiting I sat and listened to other runners talk about their past experiences and it was fun to hear people talk about their Salt Lake experience with the wind.  There were several who had run Ogden and some were talking about their past Bear Lake experience.  I am a people watcher and I love the bus rides up and just watching and listening to people.  I sat next to a cute couple who had run the Ogden half and couldn't help but think, "if only I had started this running thing before I had kids."

We were really late in getting started.  I don't know what the problem was.  However, once we got to the starting line they were ready to roll.  Just one problem.  As we got off the busses and started to look for the porta potties, there were none to be found.  A whole slew of guys just walked up the hill relieved themselves in a big line across the horizon.  Now don't get me wrong, I love being a girl.  I love all the perks that go with it.  I love letting my guy baby me and open jars and lift heavy things for me.  But in this desperate (no exaggerations here!) moment, I wished I was a guy.  It's just not fair.  We (several other desperate gals) found the race volunteers and asked where the bathrooms were.  We were told politely that they were one mile behind and in front of us.  UNBELIEVABLE!  I was not happy.   Then at the starting line there was some explanation going on about starting your watches and the timing chips not working.  We overheard at the packet pick up line that their computer equipment didn't arrive on time so I don't think the timing chip I was given even worked.  There was no pad to cross at the start and none at the finish either.  No big clock to see your time and a volunteer writing down the numbers of who came in.  I started my Garmin and took off.  I started in the middle of the pack and was moving along o.k. but needed that porta potty.  I saw it coming and of course there was a line.  What was I expecting?  There was no going another 2 miles until the next one so I stopped.  And waited.  And waited.  It was driving me crazy!  There were 3 girls ahead of me and with every girl going in and coming out I debated just going on, but knew that would be crazy!  So I waited and watched as every single runner passed us by.  Yep, every one.  Even the walking grandmas.  (I'm not being rude, it was written on their shirts!)  So after I made my lightning fast stop, I was headed out again, only this time at the very back of the pack with 5 or 6 minutes to make up.  I mean really!  How was I ever going to do that?  After I passed the walkers I played a game the rest of the race.  It was called, "Get the girl in the (insert color here) shorts/shirt".  I was pushing it the whole race and still felt good.  I kept doing a mental inventory that I need to NEVER do again.  It was all about "where do I hurt?" and then the list began: my calves and ankles are tight, my hip flexors are tight, my right foot hurts, my lungs are on fire, my shoulders are tight.  I tried to relax everything and knew that the calves and ankles would work themselves out by mile 5.  I tried longer strides to stretch out the hip flexors and would periodically roll my shoulders.  The foot pain disappeared as mysteriously as it came.

About half way through I could see Janzen parked up ahead off the side of the road and it boosted me.  I took the shirt off that was tied around my waist and got ready to hand it off.  I stopped and gave him a quick kiss, he told me how proud he was of me and I had a little jolt and took off again.  I started my game again and girl with green shorts was finally within reach.  At mile 7 I decided to take a gel.  The station was within reach and so I squeezed it in and looked for water.  No water.  Now what to do?  I had already swallowed it.  I didn't want to drink Powerade on top of it, but what choice did I have?  I drank a little bit of my drink and just hoped I'd be o.k.  It wasn't too long before I could feel it settling in my stomach like a big rock.  The next station had water and I drank it hoping that all the running would slosh it around and it would mix o.k.  I continued with my game and although the gel didn't feel good, I kept going.  I took several little walking breaks and then could push it again.  Girl with gray tights and black running skirt, I never could get you!

Before long, I was back in town and it was just a mile left.  I could see where the finish line was and pushed it more.  I could see Janzen.  I was hurting, but was so excited to be done and feel good overall.  I never saw an official finish line.  I didn't know when to stop running.  I collected my medal, handed in my timing chip and grabbed some bread and an orange and we took off!  I don't know what my "official time" was, but my Garmin said 2:10.  I was happy with that.

It was a pretty flat course with just little rolling hills.  It was along the lake for the most part and was perfect temperature.  It was a beautiful day and the best part was having Janzen there all along the way.  In every sense of the word, he is my partner.  He is my support, my biggest cheerleader, and my best friend.  I am so grateful for his sacrifice in my behalf, his encouraging words, his understanding me even when I don't, and his belief in me.  I know I'll never be a world class athlete or even a city class athlete, but I know in his eyes I'll be great.  And that's good enough for me.

Oh the Wisdom and the Pain!

The alarm clock sounded and I simply couldn't believe it was really time.  I had woken up on my own about an hour earlier to eat a banana.  Well o.k., child #3 woke up and surprise, hubby got to her and I didn't hear her!  I just woke up when he got back in bed.  I've been trying some earplugs out for a couple of days to help me sleep better and they work!  However, I was so tired this morning and so I laid there doing a self diagnosis.  Did my calves hurt still?  Yes, but not bad enough not to run.  Did I have a sudden cold or fever hit me?  No.  Dang.  How about my toenails?  Did the two that fell off by force yesterday hurt enough?  No.  I just couldn't think of an excuse that sounded good enough to call Jody and tell her I wasn't going.  So I checked the temperature, 58 degrees, dressed accordingly, got a quick drink and headed out the door.  It was simply one of the most beautiful skies I had ever seen.  Beautiful puffy clouds all over the whole sky with just a hint of what the sunrise would have been, against that perfect blue sky.  I almost ran back inside to take a picture, especially of the mountains in the background.  I am so glad I didn't miss that view.  Gorgeous.  

I picked up Jody and we headed out.  She was really cruising down the first street and I thought to myself, as my calves were getting tighter and tighter with each step, that I was in for it today.  I hoped I'd be able to keep up with her.  We ran up the first big hill and that made my legs hurt even more.  But by about mile 4 or so, they were completely loosened up and feeling good.  I don't know why it takes my legs so long to get in the groove.  I know I was sore and all, but still!  Jody kept me entertained as she sung to me what was on her i pod.  I really like running with her.  We have about the same pace and I hope she'll make me faster and I'll help her go farther.  So as we were about ready to turn the corner for the downhill to home, and we were both discussing our body hurting places, I was complaining to her (imagine that!) about how I wished that I could just have mind over matter.  Wouldn't that be nice?  I could do anything!  Then Jody, in all her wisdom, said, "Then it wouldn't ever be Heavenly Father's will."  Wise girl.  She probably didn't know how deeply that hit home to me.  But it's something I'll probably remember forever and repeat to myself often.  So thanks Jody, for the run, the pain, and the wisdom!  Oh and Jody, I did go back to bed.  Sorry, but it's summer after all!

Stairway to heaven?

So my friend and personal trainer Holly, convinced me to run stairs with her and some friends on Saturday at the high school since I had already done my long run for the week.  I has been YEARS since I have run stairs, so I knew it was going to be bad.  I used to be really good at running stairs.  Of course that was when I was doing it 3 times a week.  We did one minutes intervals with a one minute recovery.  I only had time to do 18 sets.  It kicked my rear end!  There were times I thought I was going to puke.  It was way harder than any speed work out!  I think I need to do this more often.  But for now, I need to nurse my aching calves and rear end until they aren't screaming at me.  Hopefully running Monday will loosen them up!

Long Run Early

I decided to get my long run done early since Saturday is going to be a busy one for me.  Jody called about 6:30 and wasn't feeling good so I went back to bed.  While laying there, thinking about how I should be up and running anyway, I decided to do my long run.  I called Jodi to see if she wanted to keep me company but she is sick too!  This just isn't right!  Maybe this crazy weather we're having is making everyone sick.  The highs have been in the 50's this week and it doesn't look to get over 75 in the next few days either.  It's great for running, not so great for going to the pool with the kids!  I really didn't feel like going out, but knew I had to.  I decided that once I got out there and ran for a bit, I would decide how far to go.  I'm still figuring out the Garmin thing and how to start new workouts.  The first 5 miles were a struggle.  The lower half of my legs just did not want to loosen up.  My calves, shins, and ankles were so tight.  I stopped several times to shake them out and stretch, but until I hit about 5 miles, they were just tight.  I ended up going 11 miles and the rest felt pretty good.  I hit a couple of really big hills and had to walk part of them to keep my heart rate from skyrocketing.  I didn't keep it down as much as I did the week before, but it stayed pretty steady at the high end of the spectrum.  My friend, Holly, suggested I get my VO2 max tested so that I could see exactly where my percentages should be.  Maybe.  

Jody the surgeon

Jody somehow managed to separate my rear end from my mattress.  It was quite the surgical procedure, but once she did, wow, what a great morning to be out!  I wish it would stay these temperatures all year long!  It was about 46 degrees when Jody and I headed out.  Everything is green still and we even had a nice breeze going.  Well, it was nice until, we were turned and headed uphill against it!  Those winds sure do like to blow down the canyon!  It ended up being about 5 1/2 miles.  I got home and took the kids on a walk to the park.  I did my weights while the kids played.  I did 2 sets of push ups, step ups, tricep dips and walking lunges.  Then I tried to do pull ups and could only do 2!  And I tried 3 different times!  Pretty pathetic!  I like the park workouts!  They're different and the kids get to play while I'm working out!  I think they're kind of worn out all ready!  At least Logan is.  I think he's ready for a nap!  It's only 10 and it's been a great day already!  Thanks, Jody for making me get up and at 'em a little earlier than normal!!!

Quick Catch Up

Thursday:  Just did weights today.  I was still pretty sore from the last weight session and was short on time this week due to it being the last week of school and trying to find teacher gifts, dance teacher gifts, and other such things.  

Friday:  I have a conversation with one of my best friends Holly, (awesome personal trainer lady!) who is trying to educate some of her clients about heart rates and the "fat burning zone".  Her clients were hearing conflicting sources about this zone and the benefits of training in that specific zone.  After hearing what they had heard and their now fear of training hard or above the one, I in frustration blurted out, "don't they realize that no one but a very long distance runner needs to worry about that!"  Well duhhh!!!  I had one of those light bulb moments turn on in my brain.  I'm one of those people that should be worried about that!  Yet  time and time again I push it and train my body to need fuel instead of burning fat.  New plans develop in my mind for Saturday's run.  Don't get me wrong.  I recognize the need for and love speed training, but maybe I've finally realized why I need to run at a slower pace on my long runs.  I'm kind of a slow learner.  Oh!  I also received my Garmin on this day and sat down to read the 900 page book of instructions.  My 13 year old pretty much had it figured out before I did.  He set up some screens for me and I couldn't wait to try it out.  

Saturday:  I decided that as per my plan, I would try to stay in the "fat burning" zone of 70-85% of my maximum heart rate.  I figured that out using a calculator I found online that figures in your age and resting heart rate.  Without doing some testing, I think this is closer to accurate than just the old 220 minus your age routine.  Starting out was o.k.  I tried not to look at my pace (although it was really fun to see real time pacing instead of trying to guess where I was!) and just concentrate on my heart rate.  I didn't bring music so that I could hear the alarms go off and was worried about the distance without any companionship or music in my head, but it went by surprisingly fast.  The first couple of miles were hit and miss.  I'd speed up and feel o.k. only to hear the beeping sound of the alarm telling me I was going over.  So I'd slow down and the heart beats would go back in the zone.  After the first 6 miles, my heart rate was staying pretty steady up near the 85% range and I'd have to walk to get it to lower even a few points.  So after a while I just let it stay up there and continued to run slow.  To be completely honest...it was one of the hardest runs I've ever done.  It was so very frustrating to feel good and want to go faster and not do it.  I kept reminding myself of my goal of using fat for fuel instead of sugars, so I kept on doing it.  At mile 8 I knew I only had 2 left and decided to just book it home.  I totally ignored the beeping and just took off for home.  My heart rate raced up and then stayed steady, but high.  I hope I didn't ruin what I had just done, but I couldn't take it anymore and really needed to just get home.  I'll try it again next Saturday and see if I can make it farther.  I will admit that I felt totally great during the run and didn't have to stop once to catch my breath.  That was nice.  I fueled well afterwards, but didn't do so great the rest of the afternoon and so between not eating and drinking enough and not getting much sleep the night before (sick kids!) I got a monster headache that night.  Note to self:  body does not function without water and food especially after a run.  One more little side note:  I love checking out how many calories I'm burning!  It's been a while since I've run with my heart rate monitor and I forgot how much fun that can be!

Monday:  Ran 5 miles this morning.  Tried to do mile repeats.  I had to stop twice during mile 3 because it was very uphill.  Perfect temperature of 58 degrees, beautiful morning, couldn't ask for a better day than this to run.  It looks like all week will be perfect!  

Getting back into it

Because of the holiday yesterday, I was able to sleep in and still run outside without the stroller!  Yeah!  I ran about 3 miles and then stopped at a park and did tricep dips off the bench, pushups off the bench, step ups on the bench and then lunges.  I only did 2 sets of each to ease myself back into it.  Then I finished with another 1 1/2 miles.  It felt really good and it was perfect weather.  I missed most of the rain and it was cool out.

I woke up today pretty sore in the inner thighs from yesterday.  I knew I would since it's been a while since I've trained the lower half.  I can't wait to get back to weight training a little more.  I started out with a walk (child 3 forgot her lunch again) and then ran 5 1/2 miles today.  I really took it easy today and didn't push it at all.  I had to take the stroller so I really didn't push it.  My legs feel a little looser after the run and I'm sure it helped.

Signs

Check out all the fun signs here that Angi (tall girl running) and her family put together for the Ogden Marathon that kept us all amused!  One of my favorites that I didn't even see is "Friends Don't Let Friends Run Marathons!"  Too funny!

I need therapy...oh wait, that's why I run!

This week's been interesting.  I think the mental and spiritual part of this journey has been more exhausting than the physical part.  I don't know if I lost more liquid out of my body by crying or fromsweating.  Honestly, I am fine now.  It was just a hard couple of days.  It's funny, once I wrote it all out, in all it's brutal details, I felt better.  Like I had been to therapy.  

I went for my massage on Monday.  It was great.  I was surprised that I didn't feel worse.  I guess your body doesn't hate you as much if you don't run as fast.  I walked with Janzen about a mile on Saturday night and then Sunday night.  I spent the rest of the week stretching and walking.  Then yesterday, Janzen was home from work all day and we went to get new tires put on his car.  I talked him into running with me while they worked on it.  We loaded up the jogging stroller and went about 2 miles.  It was fun to be out with Janz and it was nice to run again.  I really wanted to go farther once we got home, but decided I'd be good and not push it.  I ran 4 1/2 miles this morning to return some videos and pick up some cream cheese for some cookies I made today.  I'm sure I looked pretty funny running with a packet of cream cheese in my hands, but it was all softened by the time I got home.  I didn't even take my watch so that I wouldn't be tempted to time myself.  

Thanks to George Bush and his unwise ways, I did my part to "strengthen" the economy and I ordered myself a Garmin gps watch.  I'm pretty excited to get it and try it out.  I think it will be pretty fun and will be a good training tool.  All things considered, it was a good week.

Ogden Marathon 2008: It takes a special kind of idiot!

Friday morning Jodi and I ran down to the expo center to get our numbers and timing chips and shirts.  It wasn't really crowded yet and the stacks of t-shirts told of how many more people would be coming to get their stuff.  It was fun!  We talked to one of the race officials and told her of our plans for Jodi to wait at the half point until I got there, which would mean she would be starting over 2 hours later than all the other half marathoners.  There was some confusion, but they told us it would be o.k. and that her timing chip would start when she crossed the pad.  (Which later turned out to be not true and poor Jodi's time looked really bad for a while.)

  

We saw Jeff Galloway, who was speaking all afternoon on different subjects.  We listened for a bit about his walk/run theories and then he gave tips on carbo loading that night and hydration for the next day.  He and his wife would both be running the full marathon the next day.

We then went to Jamba Juice to have lunch!  Yum!  That is THE place to go when carbo loading!  I had a really yummy blueberry oatmeal muffin type thing that I would eat every day if they were already made for me!

The night before we went to the Temple again with Heather (who I ran with last year who is VERY pregnant this year!) and Rob, Jodi and Dave, and Marilyn and Mont.  It was so good!  I ordered a mozzarella and tomato sandwich that came with a salmon pasta salad!  The salad was so good and so big that I didn't even touch the sandwich and couldn't finish the pasta.  I drank plenty of water and was pretty excited and not so nervous as before!  When I got home I still had to get everything ready for the morning.  I had boughten a disposable camera (since I ruined my new digital camera last year!) and got my Accellerade drink ready in those little plastic bags.  That was one of the hardest decisions that I made.  I really don't like Powerade (which is what they were using in the marathon) and I have trained with Accellerade, which I love.  But what a pain carrying all those little baggies with me.  I had my sunscreen, chapstick, knee band, timing chip, phone and watch all ready to go.  The only real problem would be if I got pulled over driving to the marathon and having to explain to the cops what the powdery stuff in the little bags was for!

The morning of the marathon was beautiful!  I loved running up the street to catch the line of busses going up the canyon!  I sat by a really nice lady that talked to me pretty much the whole time.  She had run Ogden last year too and we talked about similar problems we both had.  It was fun hearing about her other marathons and her experiences running.  The running community is so great about sharing and helping each other out!  

Once we got off the buses, it was COLD!  I got in the porta potty line so that I could go through twice and it probably looked like I was doing a potty dance I learned from Logan, but I was really just trying to stay warm.  That was a long line of potties!

There were fire pits to keep people warm.  Everyone was doing something different to occupy the time.  Some were running up and down the road trying to warm up.  Some were getting stretched out on the table, other were eating, but it was so fun to just see what everyone was doing.  

When we finally got started, I was once again just amazed by the amount of people there!  It's interesting to see what everyone is carrying on them and what they're wearing.  Maybe Janzen is right, it's just a big fashion show.  

The canyon was very cold, but so beautiful!  It really is one of the most gorgeous runs I've ever been on!  The river was sure running!  Guess all that snow is finally starting to melt!  I left my i pod out for the first 5 miles or so and just took in all the scenery and tried to pace myself.  I really didn't want to go out hard and regret it later.  I still ended up doing the first mile in about 9:40, so I slowed down.  It took about 4 miles, but I settled in and did between 10:15 and 10:20 miles up until the halfway point.  I had certain phrases in my mind that I repeated over and over from the temple the night before and I planned on them getting me through.  

Really, does it get much better than this?  It was so beautiful and the temperature finally warmed up so that my hands weren't frozen!  There was a cool breeze going that constantly kept me feeling good.  Just before the halfway point, there was a nice little crowd and cute little girls giving high fives as we ran by.  There were also some cute signs.  My favorite was "Any idiot can run, it takes a special kind of idiot to run a marathon!" and "Toenails are overrated!"

I also saw a policeman get hit by a big truck and a trailer as he was directing traffic.  He was really lucky and could have been killed.  Luckily, he was able to catch himself from being hit twice and was o.k.

Right before the halfway point I got a jolt of adrenaline and had to really control myself because I knew I'd be seeing Jodi soon!  In fact as soon as I could spot her I screamed out her name before she could even hear me and the runner in front of me laughed.  I just couldn't help it!  I was waving my arms and it was fun to see her spot me!  Julie had brought her up to the start line and waited there with her.  What a great friend especially since it was on her birthday!!!

It was so fun running together.  We were doing a conservative pace especially on the big hill and it was fun to talk and enjoy the beautiful scenery.  About mile 18 my stomach started to not feel so good.  I just pushed on through but felt very off.  As we progressed my stomach just got worse and I was feeling very nauseous.  It had started to heat up, but it didn't feel like it was overwhelmingly hot.  I had been drinking at every drink stop, but didn't do any gels.  That may have been a mistake, but I figured as long as I was still drinking my Accellerade I'd be fine.  The worse my stomach got the less I wanted to drink.  I got double side aches which made it really hard to run through and then I started getting the chills.  

By about mile 21 or 22 (I really lost track of where we were) I got big goosebumps and the chills and then started feeling lightheaded.  Jodi kept encouraging me and kept me going.  But the last few miles I couldn't do anything by walk and even then I had to just stop a few times and crouch down to try to relieve my stomach pain.  I thought if I could just throw up I'd feel better.  Good thing I didn't because I would really have gotten dehydrated.  I could feel despair creeping in.  I didn't want to go back to the place I was in Salt Lake.  So I tried using my phrases that I used at the beginning.  But as my brain was not functioning, I couldn't string together the words to make the sentence, "Run and not be weary, walk and not faint."  It just wouldn't come no matter how many times I tried rephrasing it.  I knew I was ruining Jodi's first 1/2 marathon and that was overtaking my thoughts more than thinking about my time.  I was really doubting myself and my faith and had decided that I just wasn't made to run a marathon.  Jodi kept talking me through, taking me to happy places, like the beach and kept reminding me to do Lamaze breathing.  I was having trouble breathing the last 3 miles.  I felt short of breath and was in so much pain.  There were times that the only thought I had in my mind was that with every step I took, I was that much closer to the finish line.  At the last aid station a really nice volunteer came to help me.  She could see I was not doing well and had me lean over and she poured cold water all over my neck.  It felt so good.  I had a couple of orange slices and felt a tiny bit better.  We ran the last couple of blocks to finish and it was very bittersweet.  I was so glad to be done, but so disappointed that I had done poorly again.    

Reflecting back, I am just so glad I was able to finish.  I am so glad Jodi was there to help me.  I really don't know what would have happened if she wouldn't have been there to help me.  There was a beautiful spot of grass in the park during the last few miles that was begging me to go lay down on it and just never get up.  If she wouldn't have been there I just may have taken it up on the offer.  My doc (Jodi's hubby) was there at the finish line and thought I may have been going into shock.  I really think I had a bad case of heat stroke and just didn't catch it in time before I started feeling really bad.  I should have been dumping cold water all over myself when I first felt it starting to warm up.  After that point I didn't feel hot at all and felt like I had the flu.  I think I got past the point of feeling it.  We really haven't had any hot days of training and I think it was a shock to my body.  It was 85 degrees, the hottest day of the year so far.  

So the question is:  Now what?  At the time I was ready to give up on running a marathon ever again, thinking that I was just not made to do it.  It's been kind of a cry fest over here the past few days.  Mostly feeling bad about Jodi.  I should never try and run with someone in a race.  I need to just do my own race and let them do their own.  I also think that running a marathon 4 weeks before as part of training wasn't so good.  I need to stick to the training schedule and not do over 20 miles.  Maybe after the full training is in then it would be possible to do another one close together.  But I probably need to do more long runs to get my body used to the distance more.  I also need to take it easy when I'm supposed to.  In reflecting, I don't think I do very many easy runs.  I like to push it, but I don't think it's good for me or makes me a better runner.  Maybe I shouldn't have done 16 miles the Saturday before.  Or maybe none of that really makes that much of a difference.  Maybe I just need to accept my limitations and realize that everyone has limitations and can't do everything they would like to do.  I don't know.  It's been a hard couple of days and I'm sure it will work itself out.  For now, I've been walking a mile or two each night.  There is one good thing:  I'm just barely sore.  I can't believe how GOOD I feel.  And I'm still excited to run.  That in itself is a miracle.  So who knows, there may be another marathon for me after all.  Like they say, "It takes a special kind of idiot!"  Maybe that idiot is me!

Last one before Saturday!

I can't believe that it's almost here!  Every time I check the weather though, I'm disappointed because it's going to be about 86 degrees.  Just like last year.  It got really hot and hard during the last 6 miles and I'm sure it will be about the same this year!  Oh well.  At least it will be a good comparison for the two years.  I had a really bad day yesterday and wasn't excited at all and my stomach was aching again with nerves.  I didn't get any sleep the night before either and I'm sure that didn't help.  But while running today, I could just see us finishing.  I could see the finish line and our families there and it was a great scene!  It got me really excited and it's going to be a great run no matter what my time is or what happens.  I did my 3 miles today with the 3 minutes towards the end almost in a sprint to get ready for carbo loading.  Yes, that starts today too.  It's gonna be great!  

My friend Julie brought over a marathon survival kit.  She is so sweet and it was very thoughtful of her.  She's got all the essentials packed in there, including the victory chocolate!  I will admit that I didn't think that chocolate would make it to the end, but it's still here, calling my name and I will save it for the finish line!  Thanks, Julie!

Taper Week!

This week is always weird!  You train so hard and so long and then the week before...BAM, you do just about nothing!  Well nothing like you've been doing.  It seems weird and plays mental games with you but there must be wisdom in it!  I'm sure my body needs to continue to heal and get ready for more torture but it does seem weird!  I ran 3 miles today and felt like going farther, but didn't.  I was a little sore after Saturday's run and want to be completely ready for Saturday.  I lifted for my upper body and abs and stretched really good!  I need to make my appointment for my post marathon massage sometime soon or she'll be booked up like last time.  I want the whole hour this time!  It's coming!!!

Last long run before Ogden!

Today's run was perhaps one of the best runs I've ever been on.  I took it easy at the beginning and the great thing was that I was able to keep it up, feeling great, and end feeling really good.  I didn't think it was going to be that way since the first thing I read this morning was Jodi's blog where I found out that she was in a wreck and totaled her car!  She was sore and I didn't think there was anyway she was going to be able to run today or possibly even the marathon.  I couldn't get a hold of her and I just knew she wouldn't be running today so I took off on my own.  I was pretty sad that she wouldn't be able to finish her goal after all the hard work she's put in and that I'd be alone again on another marathon.  I know pretty selfish, huh!  But I really love having her as my running buddy, she makes it so fun and the time goes by so fast.  

But as the run progressed, I couldn't help but be in a good mood.  The sun was out, it was the perfect temperature, the wind was just a slight breeze that kept me cool, and there were baby animals all around.  I even saw a goat in the middle of the road.  O.k., it's a dirt road, but still!  Everything is so green from all the rain we just got and the mountains looked so purple against the sky.  I really wished I had my camera with me because there was this pool of water in a field that was reflecting the mountains in it.  It was gorgeous!  I got to pass by those sweet smelling blossoms again.  I'll never be sick of those!  It was a 10 mile run and I felt great!  

When I got home the kids told me Jodi had called.  I called her and she was getting ready to go on a run!  She was feeling good and I was so glad!  I couldn't pass it up and went 5 miles with her.  I had drank 16 oz. right before she came so I started out kind of sluggish and we slowed the pace for me.  We ran by the same farm and saw the same goat and some cute puppies and a swan and her babies.  (Too lazy to look up what baby swans are called!)  I was relieved she was doing good.  I hope we didn't overdo it and that she'll still feel good tomorrow!  I'm getting really excited for next Saturday!  Oh and I wore the peach shirt today and I can tell it's going to be my new favorite shirt!

One other bummer...I didn't get into the St. George Marathon.  So now I need to decide what I'm going to do.  I will probably do the Top of Utah one in Logan, but I'm considering doing Park City which is one month before Top of Utah.  Park City would be a hard one because of the altitude difference, part of it is on trails, and the fact that the first 16 miles are all uphill.  But the plus side would be that the last 8 are downhill and by the time I'm done training for that one I'd be much stronger than I am now.  And if I do those two more, I might as well do the Grand Slam which includes those 3 marathons plus it includes automatic entry into St. George.  I think what I will do is wait until after Ogden is over with and see how I feel.  I can still sign up until the end of May, so I think that is the plan.  Then when St. George is over with I can rest!  It sounds crazy, but I like the challenge and the learning that's involved!

Why I Run...To Endure

Enduring to the End:

I've been thinking about the upcoming marathon and there are times when I'm so excited and then there are times when all I can think about is that last marathon.  It just depresses and scares me to think I could ever have a repeat performance.  During that marathon I experienced muscle cramps that made me just want to quit. I was only halfway through when they started and it just got progressively worse.  There were times all I could do is walk.  However, there's always a lesson to be learned in running.  I learned things to help me become a better runner and I also learned about enduring in life.  Sometimes life is not fun and it's painful.  Sometimes it's very discouraging to not be able to do what we think we should be able to do.  It's hard when you don't know if you can take another step or possibly even finish.  I found that in those dark moments, and they are dark and despairing, you find out what you're made of.  You find inner strength, determination, and fight that you didn't know you had inside.  It's where you realize that NOT finishing is where the true despair would come in.  In those deepest, darkest moments is where reaching out to our Heavenly Father usually comes in and we find that we are not alone and will always be given the support and strength we need.  Whether it be through inspiring words or lyrics to a song that come to our mind, or another person's help, it will be there always.  The power to endure is within all of us.  Sometimes we just have to feel the despair to find the strength within us.  It's the opposition that helps us to see the good.  See, I love the lessons I learn while running!